In honor of my new single “Butterflies.” I have been taking myself on solo dates as a way to practice self-love and learn how to be more comfortable alone. I think it’s really important to learn how to enjoy your own company. Sitting with your thoughts and feelings without any distractions forces you to reflect and come to terms with choices you have made. I think healing is a lot about understanding the role you played in your own suffering and forgiving yourself for it. Too often, we deflect and blame others for how we feel but at the end of the day, we choose who and what we allow in. I think the more we are able to find peace within ourselves, the more we will search for it in our relationships. The goal of learning how to be alone isn’t to always be alone, it’s to create a calm and nurturing space for myself so I can be that calm and nurturing space to others, as well as, allow them to be that space for me.
One of my favorite parts about being alone is that it leaves you open to meet new people. I’ve had such great conversations with my uber drivers, my waiters, the barista at the coffee shop, etc. I took myself out to brunch and was doing some work on my computer this weekend. There were two guys sitting next to me that asked me what I was working on which turned into a long conversation. We were talking about living in LA, our careers, our backgrounds etc. It reminded me that you can never go wrong being kind. I think too many of us are so afraid of rejection we fail to put ourselves out there and make new connections, especially in real life, because we are so used to hiding behind a screen. It feels really good to have someone take interest in you as a human without any transactional motive.
Life can be hard and confusing and I feel like the least we can do is be there for another. There are so many different choices to be made and it can be hard to know what path to take. The one choice I am always one hundred percent confident in is the choice to be genuine, kind, and compassionate towards others. No matter what happens or how lost I’m feeling, I always come back to this desire to do good, be grateful, and spread positivity. But in order to do that I need to take good care of myself, fill up my own heart, and stitch up old wounds. It’s one thing to rely on others and it’s another to be dependent on them. It’s helpful to know that though we may feel lonely, we are never really alone. Sometimes all you need is a good conversation with a stranger to remind you that.