Does Anyone really feel like they belong?

Sometimes I wonder if anyone feels like they truly belong somewhere or if we all feel misunderstood. At the end of the day, we are all alone in our mind, consumed with our own thoughts, and caring about how we are perceived by others. We are born into loneliness and it’s a lifelong journey to learn how to cope with the voice inside our head. How can we make that voice a friend and not an enemy, a guide and not a blockage, and a safe place to come home to?

When I find myself feeling lonely, it often has less to do with being physically alone, and more to do with feeling far away from myself; my confidence, my core values, my motivations and inspirations. That’s when the desire for a place to belong hits me so hard because I am longing for someone or something to tell me that I matter and that I have a purpose.

But the truth is, no label or aesthetic or group is going to fill that void. We are not one-dimensional, and we cannot pick and choose what parts of ourselves to accept or create a version of ourselves we deem worthy. Of course, I am going to feel alone if a part of me is missing. How am I going to feel like I belong anywhere if I don’t even feel like I belong in my own body and mind?

You know what fills me up like nothing else, when I foster a deep connection with someone because I show up as my authentic self and it allows them to do the same. Neither of us are relying on the other to fill a void or needing each other to be anything other than who we are.

I’m getting sick of labels and aesthetics because I think it puts up barriers and limits the opportunity for genuine connection. We are a lot more similar than we are different. We all feel and breathe and love and lose and fall and get back up again.  If you’re like me and you never really knew where you fit in or belonged, start by learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Once you make a healthy home inside yourself, you may find that you can belong just about anywhere.

-Baker Grace

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