Hi beautiful people, I hope you're all taking care of yourselves. I realized I wanted you to get to know me better and I am best at explaining myself through words, so here I am starting a blog, living out my Sex In the City Dreams.
A lot of big change has happened in my life lately and it's made me reflect on my past. I've been persuing music for 7 years and I feel like I've tried everything but just being myself. It's not that I haven't been authentic or genuine, it's just that I have always felt like I needed to do more, to try harder, to look better, to be cooler, and now I am finally just proud of who I am. I like being natural and imperfect and raw. The world needs more of that. Mostly, I think I finally like myself because I'm looking at my reflection in the mirror and not in the eyes of others.
In these past couple weeks I've learned that accepting my past has a lot to do with being happy in the present. If I am proud of who I am now, then I can be grateful for the past, because it got me here. I've also been realizing how important it is to surround myself with people who value me for who I am on the inside; my kindness, my curiousity, my perspective on the world. I love to learn from people who are different than me and I am eager to see the best in others, but giving your time and energy to people who don't reciprocate is exhausting and being around people who don't understand you can make you question yourself. Do I care too much? Do I think too deep? Am I crazy for following my dream? Well, I guess it depends who you ask, but the only thing that matters is the answer I have to those questions and I've decided I'm going to love myself because, not inspite, of those things.
The title of this post is "Time doesn't heal, it just forgets." Time will make you less aware the past but it won't cure you of the damage that was done in the past. Healing is a concious decision to grow from pain and to fill the emptiness with kindness, good people, healthy habits, and positive thoughts. I realize that I have a choice. I can define myself by the love I didn't get, the mistakes I made, the success I didn't have, and be constantly trying to make up for the past, or, I can give myself that love, learn from my mistakes, call that a success, and keep moving forward. So, here I am, being super vulnerable and shit, hoping it connects with someone in this crazy, beautiful world.
I feel like I am entering a new chapter in my life and I feel so grateful for everyone who is a part of it, including anyone reading this. I'm going to be posting some new originals and covers soon. I've been writing a ton. If you're going through a lot right now, just know you're not alone and you are loved.
Keep being you!
-Baker Grace